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My husband thinks he's lazy : Love Letter email from 02.21.19

loveletter Feb 22, 2019

By Suzanna Kaye

(Originally a Love Letter email sent to the IN list. Not on the list? Want these letters in your inbox? Join Here.)


Hey, Beautiful.


OK, so here’s the random thought I had this week…..


Have you ever felt like you were lazy? Or, like your partner, kid or someone else was? Yeah, I’ve felt that way, too.


Then, a little while ago, my husband admitted to me that he thought he was lazy. That he didn’t carry his weight in housework. And at first I thought - “You’re right! Every time I’m doing housework you’re just sitting on the couch.”


But, thankfully, I didn’t say that. Because once I really thought about it, I saw the bigger picture.


Now, it IS true - whenever I was doing housework he was just sitting on the couch. But, the fact is, I’m a morning person. I love to get up and get my day started. It’s my time of higher energy and productivity. I get the kettle started and tidy up the kitchen. I do a wandering tidy <<<<>>>> as I get dressed. On a free day I take on a random project before he’s even gotten out of bed. But, I DID NOT MARRY A MORNING PERSON.


My husband is SUCH a night owl. By 5pm my engine is on empty and I love just curling up on the couch to watch tv with our family. Once dinner is done, so am I. And this is when my husband kicks into high gear. He goes into the kitchen to refill his water and 10 minutes later he’s doing the dinner dishes and taking out the trash. On a Saturday afternoon, after I’ve already finished 4 projects that randomly occurred to me, I’m nestling into the couch for a good rest and he’s just getting started on the first random project that just occurred to him.


(OK, full disclosure - I’m not always in productivity mode. I have plenty of Gilmore Girls and Thin Mints days where I look at the project bin and tell myself I should do one - then hit the “play next episode” button…. I’m not a superhuman. Yet. :)


Sure, housework is never 50/50 in our house. But it swings back and forth based on who needs a break, what needs to be done (I hate scrubbing showers and washing the dogs - but he doesn’t mind. So those weekends he does more.) It’s an ever-changing flow and it works really well.


So, your husband might be lazy. And so might you. I don’t know. But before you build up resentment or guilt, look at the bigger picture. Maybe you’re just working at different times, doing different types of tasks. Maybe one of you works more outside the house. Whatever your deal is. And as a whole, maybe overall it all adds up to something that works for everyone. It’s only a problem when it really is constantly unbalanced.


So, that’s my random musing for the day. I’ll keep dropping these little thoughts in your inbox. The more we share our thoughts on these things, the more we grow!


Make this week fantastic and keep on rocking your organizing. You’re becoming even more amazing every day.


With so much love,

Suzanna Kaye


P.S. - What IS it like in your house? Comment below real fast  - I’d love to hear what works for you. Or even what doesn’t and I can give you a virtual hug. <3


(Originally a Love Letter email sent to the IN list. Not on the list? Want these letters in your inbox? Join Here.)


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